I want time to heal me already because this feeling sucks.
It’s been almost a month since my ex broke my heart. I’m making progress everyday slowly moving forward, but its hard when shes still the first thought in the morning, and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. I wonder if she still thinks about me. I still care for her deeply regardless of what she said to me, even though they were hurtful.
It’s lame and pathetic I know.
My theory about my ex is that she was so use to dating assholes, and so when she finally dated a nice guy, she didn’t know what to do or handle someone who treated her with respect who didn’t cause conflict, so she threw it all away.
I can’t even take my own advice of choosing to be happy because my heart is still broken and stuff.
I had a crazy dream last night. I was walking in the supermarket and it turned into a musical, people were singing “Hey Jude” but instead of Jude, they said “Jon” which is my name. I wonder if its a sign in which I should go out and get my girlfriend back…
I don’t know what to do or think anymore. All I know is that I miss her, and I still love her.
I knew I had closure when I told her that I was having a hard time with her breaking up with me, and all she said was “this shouldn’t be hard for you”. It seemed like that our relationship didn’t mean as much to her as it did to me. It made me feel like everything we’ve been through together didn’t mean much, and that I was a waste of time. I told her that I still wanted to be friends with her, and thanked her for everything she did for me. I told her I love her and I always will, and if she and I found ourselves back to one another, it’ll be great.
She didn’t respond back. That’s when I knew I got the closure I needed. I don’t feel like shit anymore. Of course im going to think about her because she was my first real love. I do wish her to be happy.
I love her and I always will.