epiphanies and among other things as well.

I'm Jonathan, and i'm left handed.

I’ve finally come to terms and accepted my breakup. I want her to be happy. I wish I was apart of that for her, but I now know that isn’t in the immediate future. A lot of people said to me to focus on myself. I should, but honestly no matter I what I do, I’ll always put others before me. That’s how I am. This past weekend I went to Las Vegas with my best friends from high school and a few more people. One of them said he’s going to turn me into an asshole. I said I’ll watch and learn. At one point I was an asshole to a couple people. I’ve learned that when I drink a lot for a long time for like 3 days, that’s when I become as asshole. I didn’t like it one bit because I got it some trouble with my friend who was trying to teach me. I had a moment of clarity because one of the girls was crying because her other wasn’t thinking right. When a girl gets upset like a lot, I snap back into reality and try to fix it and console them. I went a little off topic just then, but oh well. Back to my break up and stuff. She said she wants me to be happy too. We want the same thing for each other because we still care and we aren’t bad people. I do still care for her and always will. Right now I’m making moves to better my future. I’m 25 years old. My 10 year high school reunion is in 2 years. I don’t want to go and be embarrassed of what I’m doing for a living. I want to be proud. I love my ex. She changed me for the better. I wish her the best in everything she does. She deserves it. Her happiness and friendship means the world to me.

How do you suppress both good and bad memories of someone who meant a lot to you so pain doesn’t keep on coming back?

In hindsight I should’ve gotten my ex a mood ring, so I can understand the complex infrastructure known as the female mind.